PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE!!

Okay folks, I've been promising pictures so here they are. Forgive me because some of them are out of order but it was a right pain getting them uploaded in the first place so I'm leaving them be. Also forgive me for the poor quality of most of them. I'm not a photographer. And finally forgive me because there are a buttload of photos. I posted all the pictures from my first 2 weeks. Now that I've got this figured I'll be able to include photos with each blog and parse them out a bit more. Also add some more depth to each posting. Anyways, enjoy!

My official visa to enter the Kingdom of Thailand

Shireen and I on the plane preparing for takeoff.

When we landed we immediately changed all our spare cash for Baht. Wish I'd brought moron. ATM fees are a dagger. Also, the first of many "Me Cheesin It" photos.

Shireen going through the premium lane of customs because she's a boss (and my boss). Travelling with Hormozdi has it's benefits.

First monks! I remember being super excited about seeing them basically right after we landed. 2 weeks in and the magic has faded. Now I just sit around wondering if they cheer for the Netherlands in the World Cup.

This was in our cab window and is included for no other reason than how outlandish the things being prohibited are. Farting isn't allowed?!? That's a natural human reaction guy. I can't help that all the food in your country has curry and spice. Also, special consideration for the puking guy and dominatrix combo. Not even sure what is they're putting the brakes on. Slavery? Vomiting? Slavery + vomiting? So many questions.

Might as well just put up a "NO FUN OF ANY KIND" sign in all the cabs.

Shireen and I on our boat that took us to Wat Arun.

Wat Arun

Hope you're ready for lots of pictures of Wat Arun. Because I took em.

There are Chinese Guardian's around all the Wat's. As Jimmy said "China and Thailand friends very long time." But they also have Marco Polo guardian statues up in Wat Pho(Not to mention that apparently Thailand and America have also been friends a long time too). Sounds like somebody is glad-handing all around. Now I get why they're called the Land of Smiles. They don't want to piss anyone off. Guess that's how you avoid being conquered by the British. Some people throw tea in the harbor, other's just be friends with everyone. To each their own.

Wat Arun's steps were ridiculously steep so I took this photo to illustrate. And now some poor man's ass is all over the internet for my readers to see.

View from the top.

View from up top showing the stairs again. People were basically repelling down this thing. Those women were legitimately going at a pace of 1 step every 20 seconds and holding onto the pole for dear life.

Buddha statues are all over everywhere here and this was a nice one. I'd later come to find out that this is Monday Buddha/ my Buddha and the Buddha for forgiveness and compromise. Things I'm so naturally good at...........

And excellent view of Wat Arun from the water.

After visiting the Wat we went on a canal boat ride. BKK used to be known as "The Venice of the East" because it too has lots of canals. 1) I don't love Venice but it is much prettier. 2) I've always hear Venice smelled like poop but never felt that way. Bangkok does smell like poop. Horrid poop. 3) A good portion of the waterfront property was ramshackle favella-like houses like this. If i was an investor I would start aggressively buying up waterfront property in BKK. I mean look at that place. You could probably buy it if you made the owner a godfather offer of $300 and a ham sandwich. If this country ever gets its shit together from a governance standpoint, it has a considerable work force and is in a prime location for accessing the rest of South East Asia. In 20 years BKK could explode and turn Thailand into the next Brazil. And if it does waterfront property in the heart of Bangkok would be worth millions. 

The city.

And again. I do love cities.

The IDC.

Th paddy wagon. And they say this isn't a prison.

This is one of the buildings in the compound. Wish I had some pictures from inside so you could see the conditions but they were sticklers about the no camera's thing. 

The very weird happy animal scene outside of the IDC. Seriously misplaced diorama.

Shireen on the back of a motorcycle taxi. Girls ride side-saddle like ladies in the Old West. Guys ride behind and try like hell not to touch the driver (not sure if that's how horses were shared out on the frontier). One of these days I'm going to take one and film the ride with my camer and upload it so you can see the whole thing from a first hand perspective. 

No idea what's going on here but thought I'd include it anyway. #selfiegameto11

OHHHHHH. Soon I'll be posting a blog with nothing but miscellaneous BKK stuff and when I do toilet usage will be the first thing I talk about. Until then just notice that this toilet at the IDC is 6 inches off the ground, the "seat" is covered in water of unknown origin and that little silver thing right there is all the toilet paper you get. PS: It sprays like a goddamn fire hose.

Random meal I ate which was duck and rice. They love rice here. And noodles. Can't get enough of them. But on the reals this dish was delicious.

Last summer I drank a mojito everywhere we went and reviewed them since many claimed to have the best. When I saw one on the menu here I couldn't pass up bringing back "Jed's Mojito Review." Plus Thailand is much more tropical than Austria so its not even totally absurd to drink them here. Although now that I think on it I should probably start doing Mai Tai reviews instead.

This is Soi Cowboy. One of the many strips in BKK where all the stereotypes about Thailand are born. This is just a teaser photo. I plan on doing a whole blog on this stuff in the future so the rest can wait until then.

Pattaya City. Land of hookers and ex-mafia according to everyone I talked to over here. Although I'm not sure how "ex" mafia you are when you are on the lamb from prosecution in your home country. Sounds more like "sabbatical mafia."

The beach where I did my snorkeling.

You can either rent a ride on a jet ski or, if you have a whole bunch of people, a ride on one of these odd bananas pulled by a jet ski.

MONKEY EATING BANANA. OBJECTIVE ACCOMPLISHED.

Shireen is in the background of this photo of my buddy monkeying around.

Here comes the pictures from my marine explorations. This is the first fish I saw. He was tiny. I was ecstatic.

"Oh hey there! That's neat something other than tiny fish. A rather large sea urchin in shallow water where I was just walking. Good thing it's only 1."

"Oh damn! Guess there are more than just one."

"What the f#%&?! I was walking over here!"

Not the best visibility but this was the coral embankment and if you look close you can seem some fun little fish.

Hehehehehehehehehehe.

(Giant Sea Cucumber)

I'm pretty sure this was a Blue Tang but don't remember exactly.

I believe this was a sort of angel fish but my ichthyology game isn't what it used to be. 

Random ladder in downtown BKK. Made from bamboo. It's like living in the stone age.

This was on our trip to Pattaya at a gas station stop. These little offering sites are EVERYWHERE around Thailand.

Hard job. Somebody has to do it.

My deadliest foe right before we engaged in battle.

Seriously. Who the hell was the first guy to be like "yeah. Imma eat that."

Chatuchak Fish Market. Just piles of these guys on the road and in walkways.

Stacks of crates filled with individually wrapped fish. Like cheese slices only alive.

Okay the puppy pens were adorable.

I kid you not, there were hundreds of these things. And I didn't see one person buy a thing in the 2+ hours I wandered around the area.

Looks like a comfortable existence for those roosters. Oh well, better than being my dinner I suppose.

The previously mentioned turtle in the cage the size of himself. Thing is probably like 100 too. 

You ever realize that the chicken life cycle goes from delicious to completely adorable and inconceivable to eat and then right back to delicious. Big swings there in the life of a chick.

This looks like a stimulating environment for a pretty cool turtle. He must be so fulfilled in his existence.

Random photo of bridge over water in the park next to Chatuchak.

Bookstore in Chatuchak decided that Dewey and his decimal system could go f@#% himself and he'd just build a mountain instead. Absolute chaos. So much Tom Clancy.

That's the Thai flag. Red, White and Blue! They got the flag colors right. Give em a few more tries and I'm sure they'll figure out a government that won't get overthrown every 6 years.

This is an ad for the Highway Patrol with all pretty women on it. I included this because I heard tell that the Thai military was hiring attractive women to dress up in camo swim suits and go around to protesters to convince them that the coup was a good thing. Not sure if that is true or not could just be a rumor. But the shamelessness of this advert makes me think it's not impossible.

"Why don't I hang out here and monitor the situation while you get back to sight-seeing Jed"

The old man fishing in the disgusting pond thingy.

Wat Benchamabophit. It had the most open space and was really cool because of that.

Wat's love their Buddhas. Hundreds of them line all the walls.

Courtyard. In the back you can see tourists sitting and talking to monks.

Backside of the Wat.

Statue dedicated to Rama IX (King).

Rama IX himself. There are literally hundreds of these pictures on the sides of the road...

in the middle of the road....

and over the roads.

The Golden Mount. A big tall Wat in Old City up on a hill with killer views.

Me cheesin it. When you're riding solo sometimes you gotta do it. #relentlesswiththeselfies #can'tstopwontstop

I hit this gong roughly 27 times. And rang all the bells. There were hundreds of bells.

Excellent view from on high.

Panorama City.

So many Buddhas

This Buddha was trying to be sneaky and hide up in the trees. Psh. You ain't foolin me homie. I found Waldo and Carmen Sandiego. Hidden Tree Buddha is easy game.

That is a large, Buddha. Or so I thought. I was soon to find out what "Large Buddha" really meant.

Fun Coup Interlude! These are around Old City and downtown. I want to play army man in them so bad it hurts. 

Statue at Democracy monument.

Outside view of Democracy Monument. Not that exciting inside so didn't take a lot of photos.

Even better photo of it.

Also the monument and inside there are hundreds of soldiers just laying about doing coup things.

First time I saw real soldiers in BKK and their trucks and Hummers.

Monument where those kids died. Shut down (like Democracy monument) because the Junta is very anti protests that are anti-them.

Please hold off on and revolutionary activities until such time as I am no longer in the country. And really forever. Reasoned discussion is the preferred course of action. But especially when I'm in your borders.

Not sure if and how caterpillars/centipedes/whatever the hell this is mate but if its like regular animals that is what is going on here. And conveniently they can both have a smoke afterwards.

This is me eating chocolate ice cream in a hot dog bun with candied red beans. This is a thing they do over here and it was surprisingly okay. Also, not the face of the vendor in the background. I get that look a lot.

7-11 sells individually wrapped packages of sliced buttered bread. I'm telling you man, this place is strange.

Some cool ass fish thing we ate after almost dominating basketball.

This is Jack Daniels and Jim Beam according to BKK. Classic case of copyright infringement here boys.

I need to get a drink at this place.

No idea what this is but damn it looked cool.

Wat Pho has officiall begun.

I forget wat these were. Jimmy would be so disappointed with me.

This is my Buddha. It is a copper Buddha with gold plating. It is Monday Buddha and also Buddha of forgiveness and compromise. If you are born on this day you are a serious person who is good with money. My unlucky color is orange and my unlucky day is Sunday. So on the one hand the first 2 things are about as wrong as humanly possible. On the other hand, Sunday is a pretty big day for Christians and Monks are all about that orange whereas me and the heavens have had our disagreements in the past. Not sure what to make of all this.

Largest Golden Buddha. Solid gold. Really pretty actually. My favorite Buddha so far. Also, the Thursday Buddha. Buddha of meditation and victory.

Much better picture to see the scale of it. And proof that I'm actually in all these places.

Saturday Buddha. Snake Buddha.

Cool waterfall in the Wat. Very Feng Shui.

Not at all near the entrance. So oddly placed. I'd been inside an hour before I saw the welcome.

See! I swear I'm actually in Thailand and not just hiding out in Macon.

The Big Buddha. Reclining Buddha. Not sleeping Buddha, his eyes are open! This is Tuesday Buddha.

Seriously. Look how big that damn thing is.

These are the bottoms of his feet. They are inscribed with stories of Buddhist things. Each foot is as long as me and half as tall.

Jimmy's first appearance! He didn't know I was sneaking this shot of him.

The Pho Tree. Tree for which the Wat is named.

Chinese Buddha. Not Jimmy's Buddha. This Buddha is Fat.

Less attractive view of the Wat.

Layout of the Wat. The stuff on the right is the temple we walked around. The left is the living compound for all the monks who study and train there.

These are the giant things for each of the previous Kings whose ashes get buried at the Wat.

That's a little thing called angle of the shot.

In all my pictures Jimmy would insist I put my hand up like my Monday Buddha. He also insisted I say "Jimmy" instead of cheese.

The man. The myth. The Legend.

The Grand Palace from the outside.

Good long view of the Grand Palace.

My guidebook and lifeline on this journey. A bit battered from all the use.

The rosary/corsage thing Jimmy stole for me.

Remember when I told you there was trash everywhere. Yeah. I wasn't lying.

Piled high and left to dry.

I thought a tattoo parlor being called King Stab was hilarious and not the least bit inviting.

Good old fashioned security system right there. High walls with glass shards on top. Never change Bangkok.

And finally, remember how I said the Thai's love their rice? Well you know how in supermarkets in the States, the rice is on the bottom shelf in a tiny section next to all the Mexican food? Well here in Bangkok they have.........

The Great Wall of Rice.

Thanks for putting up with me y'all. You keep reading and I'll keep posting.